Mid-night Notes #2

There’s something inside that just aches and yearns to be loved. Most times I go through life just going through the motions without a clue as to how I feel about it. Or how I feel about most things.

Which is how you end up at 3 am crying yourself to sleep and for what reason? I’ve come to the realization that as much as I crave to be loved so deeply and unconditionally, I also want nothing to do with it. I’m terrified that I could love someone like that, that someone could love me like that.

And as I lay here with the Goo Goo Dolls “iris”  in the back ground, I want nothing more then to have someone in my arms.

I cling on to my pillow in fear that if  I let go I won’t make it through, this pain. And I wonder… am I lonely?  And the truth is that I am. No one really knows me and that bothers me.

So I’ll cry my self to sleep tonight and tomorrow I feel better.


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